Stay in the Ache.

The wonder of God’s plan moving in your life became evident today in two ways. I posted them on Instagram. Two ladies who have been in Manila for TOB work, whom I should have met while they were there but didn’t push through for one reason or another, I met here! That is just amazing. We got to get planning to do even more things. Maybe not together in Manila (since they are both leaving the Philippines) but somehow, somewhere. We will figure it out.

Today I got hit by these words: Stay in the ache.

I used to be a very restless person. I think I have blogged about that a couple of times, I should look for them one of these days. I always had this fire that would let me try new things in work (ministry), go to new places, start up new avenues to serve. But somehow, that took a back seat along the way. I cannot attribute it to getting married, nor having children, but I can attribute it to thinking: I have to step up and provide for my family.

I took control. I calmed down this restlessness, and told myself that I am getting older, and it is time to settle down and leave the fire-in-the-belly work to those younger than me.

But reflecting on it more, it wasn’t me letting others step up – because of course that will happen, and there is no need for anyone to step aside for people to step up. It was me doubting that God would still be in control even if “real life” stepped in. Gah! “Real life” didn’t step in! I was always living it! What happened then?

I know in my head that God is good. That He has this great and awesome plan for me. That He is control and will take care of me and my family. But how does that translate to tuition, books, breakfast, lunch, dinner, vacations, gifts, etc etc. How does that translate to life?! Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. How does God having a plan for us translate to life? What a crazy thought!

Looking at it now, it is fear. We fear that maybe God isn’t looking at us all the time, enough to remember to take care of us. And that is a tragedy. Because God DOES love us. He DOES have a plan for us. He IS making it happen when we choose to do the right things. And He IS going to give us the desires of our heart (whether we know we desire them or not). We just have to trust.

And this TRUTH. This TRUST. It hurts! It is an ache in your belly. An ache in your heart. Because the world tells you one thing, but the Truth shows you the right thing. Come back and ACHE! Strip your fears, your tears and ache at the dependence of trusting in God’s plan for you. Because it is a beautiful plan, and it is waiting for you to grasp it.

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