There is an ongoing “debate” on the family bed. One side endorses sleeping with your kids in the same bed through the night; and the other side prefers having the child sleep on his own right away. As seen by the picture, we go with the former 😉It was never really a discussion that we had about it. It came about naturally. When our eldest was born, we had a crib, but we just naturally had her sleep beside us. It was easier for breastfeeding for my wife, and we are not heavy nor magulo (messy?) sleepers, so we didn’t have the threat of squishing her. Though I did have paranoia attacks of waking up and checking if we had pillows or blankets covering her. Which would be the same, I think, if she slept in a crib or on her own.
When our second child came, my wife had one child on each side (though our eldest wasn’t breastfeeding anymore). We have a queen size bed so we all fit perfectly. And they were still small at that time.
Our third child came and my wife would transfer him from side to side, depending on his breastfeeding needs, and then the two girls were on the outer layer on each of her sides. By this time we had a single bed beside the queen bed, and I would often end up there. People say intimacy is lost when you share a bed…. not really, we now are expecting our 5th child!
Our fourth child arrived, and same arrangement. Except now the boy would sleep at the lower part of the bed where the wind from the electric fan would hit. At some time, we had the two older girls move from the shared bed to the single bed. They shared that bed together. They agreed to it, and I think that’s a sign of things to come for them all. Eventually they do get older and want to move on to other sleeping areas on their own.
Now their own rooms are being fixed, so the two older ones will be moving out of the room completely. I think I am the one with separation anxiety. I wonder how often I will get up and just check on how they are doing. We are practicing it now while the house is being fixed, we are staying with my parents so the older girls stay in another room than where we stay in. It isn’t so painful (ha ha), I think we can manage.
The third one will have his own room too, but I don’t think he will use it yet. He may be the one to move to the single bed, and this will get us all ready for the fifth.
It is a warm, fuzzy and a bonding experience to share the bed with all the kids. Sometimes they all just pile on the bed and we find a way to fit everyone in it – which usually ends up with me on the floor. These are experiences that won’t last forever. As I said, they eventually look to find their own space as they grow older. And when the teenage years come, they might not even want to be in the same area as us (ack! Am I ready for that?). So we are enjoying this while it lasts.
The family bed is family bonding and family love. 🙂 Wouldn’t have it any other way!